Family Troubles
Bathie, Scobie
Grade: 11
School: Fargo North High School, Fargo ND Educator: Lori Koenig
AWARD: Silver Key, Dramatic Script
Characters
Paula
A caring mother of the four children, Mark’s wife, funny, but can be stern when needed.
Mark
The laughable father of the four children, Paula’s husband.
Jackie
A daughter of Paula and Mark, a typical teenage girl, has a stereotypical sibling bond with Josh, 17 years old.
Josh
A son of Paula and Mark, a witty gamer, has a stereotypical sibling bond with Jackie, 12 years old.
Sam
A daughter of Paula and Mark, a curious little girl looking for adventure, 6 years old.
Devin
A son of Paula and Mark, infant. This character is to be played by a doll wrapped in a blanket that covers most of the face as to give the illusion of an actual child.
Setting
This play is set in the early 2000s in a modern house of a family of 6. The set is shown as the living room of the house. A couch stands center stage right, with a coffee table in front of it. On it lays a game controller and a TV remote. The television is not on stage; instead its screen is in the audience. All actors should face out completely when looking at the TV as if a small part of the audience was the screen. Other furniture and accessories are found throughout the room, including a small round dining table with several chairs. There is a large, glass, operable window along the back wall of the house, a front door positioned upstage left, and a kitchen door exactly opposite of it stage right. A staircase leading up to the upstairs, stage left.
(Scene starts in the living room; starts out with SAM, JOSH, JACKIE, and PAULA
holding DEVIN, in the room, PAULA standing beside JACKIE, and JOSH sitting on the
couch while SAM colors on the floor)
PAULA: All right, that’s the lowdown on what I expect for tonight. Now, repeat it so I know you understood.
JACKIE: You guys leave, we take care of Devin, make sure the house doesn’t burn down, I watch the little ones, blah blah blah (takes DEVIN from PAULA’s hands). And then, (talking towards DEVIN but to PAULA) when you get back, I’m going to get a shiny new car!
PAULA: That’s right. But, if anything bad happens, no one will be getting anything. Understood?
JOSH: Yes Mom, we understand. You don’t have to worry about anything. (aside) Except for me playing the new Forge Striker game you told me I couldn’t buy but went behind your back and did anyway.
PAULA: What was that honey?
JOSH: Oh, nothing.
(MARK comes down the stairs whilst tying his tie, and fixing up his outfit)
MARK: Paula, are you ready to go? We will miss the reservation if we stay here too long.
PAULA: I’ve been ready to go this whole time; it’s you who spends an eternity trying to tie his tie.
MARK: Not an eternity, only... (embarrassed as he checks his watch) twenty-five minutes.
PAULA: (laughs) Okay kids, we should be going, so be good. (they begin to walk out of the door)
JACKIE: Wait! (hands DEVIN to JOSH and goes over to MARK and PAULA; JOSH puts DEVIN in a baby carrier) I made a little something (she pulls out a folded paper and pen from her back pocket). It’s a contract. It says that if I successfully take care of the house while you guys are gone, you guarantee to buy me a new car (thrusts papers out towards them; MARK takes it, and looks it over).
PAULA: All right, that’s the lowdown on what I expect for tonight. Now, repeat it so I know you understood.
JACKIE: You guys leave, we take care of Devin, make sure the house doesn’t burn down, I watch the little ones, blah blah blah (takes DEVIN from PAULA’s hands). And then, (talking towards DEVIN but to PAULA) when you get back, I’m going to get a shiny new car!
PAULA: That’s right. But, if anything bad happens, no one will be getting anything. Understood?
JOSH: Yes Mom, we understand. You don’t have to worry about anything. (aside) Except for me playing the new Forge Striker game you told me I couldn’t buy but went behind your back and did anyway.
PAULA: What was that honey?
JOSH: Oh, nothing.
(MARK comes down the stairs whilst tying his tie, and fixing up his outfit)
MARK: Paula, are you ready to go? We will miss the reservation if we stay here too long.
PAULA: I’ve been ready to go this whole time; it’s you who spends an eternity trying to tie his tie.
MARK: Not an eternity, only... (embarrassed as he checks his watch) twenty-five minutes.
PAULA: (laughs) Okay kids, we should be going, so be good. (they begin to walk out of the door)
JACKIE: Wait! (hands DEVIN to JOSH and goes over to MARK and PAULA; JOSH puts DEVIN in a baby carrier) I made a little something (she pulls out a folded paper and pen from her back pocket). It’s a contract. It says that if I successfully take care of the house while you guys are gone, you guarantee to buy me a new car (thrusts papers out towards them; MARK takes it, and looks it over).
MARK: It looks great and all, but contracts are usually legally bound (holds out the
paper to JACKIE, who pushes it back towards him in a ‘matter of fact’ way).
JACKIE: Actually, dad, I had Uncle Louis look it over at his new law firm, and he authorized it for me so it is legally bound. All you have to do is sign.
MARK: (looks at her skeptically, then signs) Fair play Jackie. Fair play.
JACKIE: (takes contract and puts it back in her pocket) Pleasure doing business with
you. Now go on and leave the responsibilities to me.
PAULA: (smiles) Okay kids, be good for your sister. But not too good. Have to give her a little bit of a challenge. Remember to feed them, but don’t let them have too much sugar.
JACKIE: Mom, don’t worry about a thing (pushing them out the door). You can trust me, I will take great care of them. Have fun, bye!
(MARK and PAULA exit through the front door, leaving the three kids in the living room)
JOSH: How come you get a car and Sam, Devin or I don’t get anything?
JACKIE: Because I’m the oldest and I have to watch you guys. Now if you don’t mind,
I’m gonna go upstairs and online shop alone in my room.
(JACKIE exits up the stairs)
JOSH: Hypocrite. Oh well. Allows me to play my game without being interrupted.
(JOSH grabs the TV remote and clicks it towards the audience, turning the TV on; he grabs the controller and starts playing his game. SAM stands up and goes over to DEVIN in the carrier; she grabs the carrier and goes into the kitchen. JACKIE enters from the stairs.)
JACKIE: (laughing) Oh my god, I almost forgot about the baby (crosses to where the carrier used to be). I’m glad I realized before something bad could ha- (stops herself as she looks down at the carrier that is gone). Josh?
JOSH: Yeah?
JACKIE: Where’s the baby?
JOSH: (still staring at the TV) He’s next to the couch in his carrier. JACKIE: Oh really, because all I see is the floor!
JACKIE: Actually, dad, I had Uncle Louis look it over at his new law firm, and he authorized it for me so it is legally bound. All you have to do is sign.
MARK: (looks at her skeptically, then signs) Fair play Jackie. Fair play.
JACKIE: (takes contract and puts it back in her pocket) Pleasure doing business with
you. Now go on and leave the responsibilities to me.
PAULA: (smiles) Okay kids, be good for your sister. But not too good. Have to give her a little bit of a challenge. Remember to feed them, but don’t let them have too much sugar.
JACKIE: Mom, don’t worry about a thing (pushing them out the door). You can trust me, I will take great care of them. Have fun, bye!
(MARK and PAULA exit through the front door, leaving the three kids in the living room)
JOSH: How come you get a car and Sam, Devin or I don’t get anything?
JACKIE: Because I’m the oldest and I have to watch you guys. Now if you don’t mind,
I’m gonna go upstairs and online shop alone in my room.
(JACKIE exits up the stairs)
JOSH: Hypocrite. Oh well. Allows me to play my game without being interrupted.
(JOSH grabs the TV remote and clicks it towards the audience, turning the TV on; he grabs the controller and starts playing his game. SAM stands up and goes over to DEVIN in the carrier; she grabs the carrier and goes into the kitchen. JACKIE enters from the stairs.)
JACKIE: (laughing) Oh my god, I almost forgot about the baby (crosses to where the carrier used to be). I’m glad I realized before something bad could ha- (stops herself as she looks down at the carrier that is gone). Josh?
JOSH: Yeah?
JACKIE: Where’s the baby?
JOSH: (still staring at the TV) He’s next to the couch in his carrier. JACKIE: Oh really, because all I see is the floor!
JOSH: What are you talking ab- (looks at the carrier-less floor). Yeah, that would be an
issue.
JACKIE: Josh this is no time for joking! JOSH: It’s always time for joking. JACKIE: Josh!
JOSH: Sorry.
JACKIE: (to self) Okay Jackie, calm down. Everything’s going to be okay! All you have to do is remember where you put the baby (JACKIE begins to act out her blocking from the beginning of the scene). So Mom was talking to me over here, then I took Devin and that’s when Dad came down the stairs and he and Mom were getting ready to leave when... (glaring at JOSH). When I handed him to you.
JOSH: (avoidingly) Um I don’t think I remember that part. JACKIE: Josh you lost him!
JOSH: No I didn’t! When you gave him to me I put him down in his carrier and I didn’t touch him after that!
JACKIE: (Shouting) Well then where could he be? It’s not like he could learn to walk in 10 minutes!
JOSH: Calm down woman! (slaps her) You aren’t going to find him any faster by losing your head!
JACKIE: Yo- You’re right. Sorry, I don’t know what’s gotten into me.
JOSH: It’s fine. I love a good reason to slap someone. But that’s beside the point right now. Right now, you have to find Devin. And to do that, you need to not be here (he goes back to playing his game).
JACKIE: Are you kidding me? I can’t do this alone! JOSH: You can, and you will.
JACKIE: Josh, you are such a turd. What game are you playing anyways? (picks up the game's case as JOSH attempts to snatch it before she can, but fails.) (slyly) Is this the Forge Striker game that Mom said you couldn’t play? Certainly would be a shame
if someone were to tell her because you refused to help them.
JACKIE: Josh this is no time for joking! JOSH: It’s always time for joking. JACKIE: Josh!
JOSH: Sorry.
JACKIE: (to self) Okay Jackie, calm down. Everything’s going to be okay! All you have to do is remember where you put the baby (JACKIE begins to act out her blocking from the beginning of the scene). So Mom was talking to me over here, then I took Devin and that’s when Dad came down the stairs and he and Mom were getting ready to leave when... (glaring at JOSH). When I handed him to you.
JOSH: (avoidingly) Um I don’t think I remember that part. JACKIE: Josh you lost him!
JOSH: No I didn’t! When you gave him to me I put him down in his carrier and I didn’t touch him after that!
JACKIE: (Shouting) Well then where could he be? It’s not like he could learn to walk in 10 minutes!
JOSH: Calm down woman! (slaps her) You aren’t going to find him any faster by losing your head!
JACKIE: Yo- You’re right. Sorry, I don’t know what’s gotten into me.
JOSH: It’s fine. I love a good reason to slap someone. But that’s beside the point right now. Right now, you have to find Devin. And to do that, you need to not be here (he goes back to playing his game).
JACKIE: Are you kidding me? I can’t do this alone! JOSH: You can, and you will.
JACKIE: Josh, you are such a turd. What game are you playing anyways? (picks up the game's case as JOSH attempts to snatch it before she can, but fails.) (slyly) Is this the Forge Striker game that Mom said you couldn’t play? Certainly would be a shame
if someone were to tell her because you refused to help them.
JOSH: Oh, you're good.
JACKIE: It’s just a trick of the trade. So, are you going to help?
JOSH: Well I can’t have mom finding out about this so, yeah I guess you could say that.
JACKIE: Okay well where do we start?
JOSH: Okay here’s the game plan. You go check all the rooms upstairs, and I’ll check the kitchen. Okay? GO!
(JACKIE runs and exits upstairs and JOSH goes back to the couch to play his game. SAM enters holding DEVIN in his carrier from the kitchen and covered in chocolate. They cross to the front door and exit. JACKIE enters standing at the top of the stairs.)
JACKIE: Josh! (moving towards him) Did you even check the kitchen?
JOSH: Yes (JACKIE glares). No, I didn’t.
JACKIE: Well you are about to (turns off television). Now get off your butt and help me look! (JACKIE and JOSH walk into the kitchen and JACKIE screams from offstage; they enter back into the living room) Did you see that? The walls were covered in
chocolate! Chocolate! How does that even happen! What are we goi- (JOSH slaps JACKIE and she pauses) Would you quit doing that!
JOSH: Would you quit going insane? We aren’t going to find him if you keep blabbering on about it! If gaming has taught me anything, it’s that freaking out isn’t going to get you the kill any faster, you have to strategize and make a plan.
JACKIE: A plan? I can work with a plan.
JOSH: Okay this is what we are going to do. I’m going to go clean up the kitchen, and
you are going to check outside and if he isn’t there, go check in with the neighbors.
JACKIE: Okay, let’s go! (JOSH exits into the kitchen and JACKIE heads towards the front door when her phone rings. She checks it, and proceeds to answer with nervous laughter) Heeeeey, Mom! How’s your date going? (pause) No, things are going
great! (pause as if listening for a reply. NOTE: All questions said are acted as if repeating what the mother has said.) What is everyone doing? (pause) Oh you
know, (nervous) just hanging out. Josh is playing his game. His very age appropriate game. Devin is... Uh, Devin is... Sleeping! Yep, Devin is sleeping! And I am being
a very responsible adult, doing... responsible things, and uh... being... responsible (pause, more nervous). What is Sam up to? (covers phone and looks around the room in a
panic) Oh no! I forgot about Sam! (uncovers phone) Yeah mom, she is perfectly fine. She is just... coloring. Look Mom, I have to go, cause I’m really busy being
responsible (pause). Okay, love you too bye! (she hangs up and puts her phone
JACKIE: It’s just a trick of the trade. So, are you going to help?
JOSH: Well I can’t have mom finding out about this so, yeah I guess you could say that.
JACKIE: Okay well where do we start?
JOSH: Okay here’s the game plan. You go check all the rooms upstairs, and I’ll check the kitchen. Okay? GO!
(JACKIE runs and exits upstairs and JOSH goes back to the couch to play his game. SAM enters holding DEVIN in his carrier from the kitchen and covered in chocolate. They cross to the front door and exit. JACKIE enters standing at the top of the stairs.)
JACKIE: Josh! (moving towards him) Did you even check the kitchen?
JOSH: Yes (JACKIE glares). No, I didn’t.
JACKIE: Well you are about to (turns off television). Now get off your butt and help me look! (JACKIE and JOSH walk into the kitchen and JACKIE screams from offstage; they enter back into the living room) Did you see that? The walls were covered in
chocolate! Chocolate! How does that even happen! What are we goi- (JOSH slaps JACKIE and she pauses) Would you quit doing that!
JOSH: Would you quit going insane? We aren’t going to find him if you keep blabbering on about it! If gaming has taught me anything, it’s that freaking out isn’t going to get you the kill any faster, you have to strategize and make a plan.
JACKIE: A plan? I can work with a plan.
JOSH: Okay this is what we are going to do. I’m going to go clean up the kitchen, and
you are going to check outside and if he isn’t there, go check in with the neighbors.
JACKIE: Okay, let’s go! (JOSH exits into the kitchen and JACKIE heads towards the front door when her phone rings. She checks it, and proceeds to answer with nervous laughter) Heeeeey, Mom! How’s your date going? (pause) No, things are going
great! (pause as if listening for a reply. NOTE: All questions said are acted as if repeating what the mother has said.) What is everyone doing? (pause) Oh you
know, (nervous) just hanging out. Josh is playing his game. His very age appropriate game. Devin is... Uh, Devin is... Sleeping! Yep, Devin is sleeping! And I am being
a very responsible adult, doing... responsible things, and uh... being... responsible (pause, more nervous). What is Sam up to? (covers phone and looks around the room in a
panic) Oh no! I forgot about Sam! (uncovers phone) Yeah mom, she is perfectly fine. She is just... coloring. Look Mom, I have to go, cause I’m really busy being
responsible (pause). Okay, love you too bye! (she hangs up and puts her phone
away) Josh!
(JOSH enters from the kitchen wearing an apron. He is wearing yellow rubber gloves
and holding a sponge and a spray bottle.)
JOSH: Okay, I just finished cleaning the kitchen. What’s up?
JACKIE: (pause) What are you wearing?
JOSH: (looking at his clothes) Hey, just because I’m a gamer doesn’t mean I can’t have proper cleaning techniques (pause as he takes off his cleaning garb and throws it into the kitchen). So, why did you call me?
JACKIE: We forgot about Sam! We were so worried about finding Devin, that we forgot we have a baby sister that we are supposed to be watching too!
JOSH: Well technically, you are supposed to be watching them, so-
JACKIE: Not now!
JOSH: Sorry.
JACKIE: What are we going to do? This is all my fault (crosses over to sit on the couch). How could I be so irresponsible to lose two-thirds of my siblings?
JOSH: If it makes you feel any better, at least you can do basic math (JACKIE
glares). Okay, so not open for jokes at the moment. Look Jackie, everything will be fine. (JOSH crosses to JACKIE and sits next to her; SAM enters from behind the glass window holding DEVIN in his carrier, both of them covered in dirt as well as chocolate. SAM is holding flowers; SAM opens the window from outside and steps into the house. She carries DEVIN and the flowers upstairs, leaving the window open) Sam is smart so she wouldn’t do anything stupid. And to be honest I have no idea what happened to Devin, but we will find out, okay? We are in this together. We’ll find them before Mom and Dad get home.
JACKIE: Thanks Josh. It really means a lot.
JOSH: (brushing it off) Well don’t think too much of it. I was just... helping out a teammate. (they look at each other and smile) Mom and Dad should be coming home pretty soon, so I’m going to go take a look outside for them. You stay here in case they come back (exits through front door).
(JACKIE gets up and crosses to the open window)
JACKIE: What the... Why is the window open? (JACKIE shuts the window. SAM walks down the stairs holding DEVIN’s carrier, the flowers, and a stuffed animal that is now
(JOSH enters from the kitchen wearing an apron. He is wearing yellow rubber gloves
and holding a sponge and a spray bottle.)
JOSH: Okay, I just finished cleaning the kitchen. What’s up?
JACKIE: (pause) What are you wearing?
JOSH: (looking at his clothes) Hey, just because I’m a gamer doesn’t mean I can’t have proper cleaning techniques (pause as he takes off his cleaning garb and throws it into the kitchen). So, why did you call me?
JACKIE: We forgot about Sam! We were so worried about finding Devin, that we forgot we have a baby sister that we are supposed to be watching too!
JOSH: Well technically, you are supposed to be watching them, so-
JACKIE: Not now!
JOSH: Sorry.
JACKIE: What are we going to do? This is all my fault (crosses over to sit on the couch). How could I be so irresponsible to lose two-thirds of my siblings?
JOSH: If it makes you feel any better, at least you can do basic math (JACKIE
glares). Okay, so not open for jokes at the moment. Look Jackie, everything will be fine. (JOSH crosses to JACKIE and sits next to her; SAM enters from behind the glass window holding DEVIN in his carrier, both of them covered in dirt as well as chocolate. SAM is holding flowers; SAM opens the window from outside and steps into the house. She carries DEVIN and the flowers upstairs, leaving the window open) Sam is smart so she wouldn’t do anything stupid. And to be honest I have no idea what happened to Devin, but we will find out, okay? We are in this together. We’ll find them before Mom and Dad get home.
JACKIE: Thanks Josh. It really means a lot.
JOSH: (brushing it off) Well don’t think too much of it. I was just... helping out a teammate. (they look at each other and smile) Mom and Dad should be coming home pretty soon, so I’m going to go take a look outside for them. You stay here in case they come back (exits through front door).
(JACKIE gets up and crosses to the open window)
JACKIE: What the... Why is the window open? (JACKIE shuts the window. SAM walks down the stairs holding DEVIN’s carrier, the flowers, and a stuffed animal that is now
covered in chocolate and dirt like the rest of them. SAM brings everything and sits on the
floor center stage. JACKIE continues to look out the window, proceeding to talk after
SAM sits.) I can’t believe I lost them. How irresponsible can I be? Oh Sam, where are
you?
SAM: I’m right here.
JACKIE: Sam! Oh my god where have you been? And you have Devin! (Looking at her
clothes and assortment of objects) What on earth have you been doing?
SAM: Devin said he was hungry so we went to get some chocolate. Then he wanted to
go for a walk, and we picked some of the flowers outside. JACKIE: Oh no, not Mom’s chrysanthemums!
SAM: Then he wanted to have a tea party so I went to grab my stuffed animal to have one with us.
JACKIE: Sam, you could have gotten hurt! You have to be more careful. Next time, just ask me and I’ll help you get a snack, or get you some flowers that aren’t from the garden. Oh, well at least you're safe (they hug). I’m going to get a washcloth to clean you up, okay?
(JACKIE exits into the kitchen.)
SAM: Oh no, I don’t have any tea. I think Mrs. Robinson next door will have some. (SAM exits out of the front door. JACKIE enters with a wet rag through kitchen door. She
looks at where Sam once was.)
JACKIE: That girl does not know how to stay in one place, does she (crosses to DEVIN’s carrier). Hey there little guy. I’ve missed you buddy. Let me get all of this chocolate off your carrier.
JOSH: (offstage) Jackie! Jackie, I found Sam! (JOSH and SAM enter through the front door.)
JACKIE: Sam, you really need to stop wandering off. I was gone for two seconds how did you escape this time?
JOSH: Wait, you’ve already seen her?
JACKIE: Yeah, I found her a few minutes before you did, and then she must have walked away, again.
SAM: I’m right here.
JACKIE: Sam! Oh my god where have you been? And you have Devin! (Looking at her
clothes and assortment of objects) What on earth have you been doing?
SAM: Devin said he was hungry so we went to get some chocolate. Then he wanted to
go for a walk, and we picked some of the flowers outside. JACKIE: Oh no, not Mom’s chrysanthemums!
SAM: Then he wanted to have a tea party so I went to grab my stuffed animal to have one with us.
JACKIE: Sam, you could have gotten hurt! You have to be more careful. Next time, just ask me and I’ll help you get a snack, or get you some flowers that aren’t from the garden. Oh, well at least you're safe (they hug). I’m going to get a washcloth to clean you up, okay?
(JACKIE exits into the kitchen.)
SAM: Oh no, I don’t have any tea. I think Mrs. Robinson next door will have some. (SAM exits out of the front door. JACKIE enters with a wet rag through kitchen door. She
looks at where Sam once was.)
JACKIE: That girl does not know how to stay in one place, does she (crosses to DEVIN’s carrier). Hey there little guy. I’ve missed you buddy. Let me get all of this chocolate off your carrier.
JOSH: (offstage) Jackie! Jackie, I found Sam! (JOSH and SAM enter through the front door.)
JACKIE: Sam, you really need to stop wandering off. I was gone for two seconds how did you escape this time?
JOSH: Wait, you’ve already seen her?
JACKIE: Yeah, I found her a few minutes before you did, and then she must have walked away, again.
SAM: I didn’t have any tea so I was going to go ask Mrs. Robinson for some.
JACKIE: Sam we just talked about this. You need to stop wandering off. And I think I have the perfect idea. Josh, sit her down in one of those chairs and make sure she doesn’t move.
(JACKIE exits through the kitchen door. JOSH brings a chair from the table forward for SAM to sit on. SAM sits.)
JOSH: You know, I don’t think I’ve seen her this determined. You might just have it in for you, little lady.
JACKIE: (she enters, pausing to show the rope she grabbed. She crosses to SAM and ties it around her) Since you keep running away, this will make it so you won’t be able to. I won’t keep you here long, just until you are cleaned up and I can keep a firm eye on you.
JOSH: You know, I didn’t think you could do it. But I think you will actually be able to get your new car.
JACKIE: Well, I couldn’t have done it without your help.
JOSH: Yes, and that is why I’m holding you accountable for whenever I need a ride
from now on.
JACKIE: Oh come on, that’s not fair!
JOSH: I think it’s perfectly fair. Unless, of course, you want me to tell Mom about this whole situation.
(A car horn honks)
JOSH AND JACKIE: (startled) Mom!
JACKIE: Here! (JACKIE tosses the rag to JOSH) Take this and her stuffed animal and get it out of here! I’ll untie Sam and get rid of the rope!
(JACKIE unties SAM. JOSH grabs the stuffed animal and throws it and the rag out of the window, closing it afterwards. JACKIE throws the rope into the kitchen. SAM grabs her flowers. JOSH grabs DEVIN. JOSH, SAM, and JACKIE form a line on stage, JOSH farthest away from the front door, SAM in the middle, and JACKIE next to her.)
JACKIE: Sam! You are still covered in chocolate! We can’t let Mom- (PAULA and MARK enter from the front door. JACKIE swings around, pulling SAM and holding her behind her, keeping her out of the sight of PAULA and MARK.) Mom! Dad! You're back!
JACKIE: Sam we just talked about this. You need to stop wandering off. And I think I have the perfect idea. Josh, sit her down in one of those chairs and make sure she doesn’t move.
(JACKIE exits through the kitchen door. JOSH brings a chair from the table forward for SAM to sit on. SAM sits.)
JOSH: You know, I don’t think I’ve seen her this determined. You might just have it in for you, little lady.
JACKIE: (she enters, pausing to show the rope she grabbed. She crosses to SAM and ties it around her) Since you keep running away, this will make it so you won’t be able to. I won’t keep you here long, just until you are cleaned up and I can keep a firm eye on you.
JOSH: You know, I didn’t think you could do it. But I think you will actually be able to get your new car.
JACKIE: Well, I couldn’t have done it without your help.
JOSH: Yes, and that is why I’m holding you accountable for whenever I need a ride
from now on.
JACKIE: Oh come on, that’s not fair!
JOSH: I think it’s perfectly fair. Unless, of course, you want me to tell Mom about this whole situation.
(A car horn honks)
JOSH AND JACKIE: (startled) Mom!
JACKIE: Here! (JACKIE tosses the rag to JOSH) Take this and her stuffed animal and get it out of here! I’ll untie Sam and get rid of the rope!
(JACKIE unties SAM. JOSH grabs the stuffed animal and throws it and the rag out of the window, closing it afterwards. JACKIE throws the rope into the kitchen. SAM grabs her flowers. JOSH grabs DEVIN. JOSH, SAM, and JACKIE form a line on stage, JOSH farthest away from the front door, SAM in the middle, and JACKIE next to her.)
JACKIE: Sam! You are still covered in chocolate! We can’t let Mom- (PAULA and MARK enter from the front door. JACKIE swings around, pulling SAM and holding her behind her, keeping her out of the sight of PAULA and MARK.) Mom! Dad! You're back!
PAULA: Yes! And the house isn’t a bunch of ashes, so I guess that’s a good sign.
JOSH: Here (crosses and gives DEVIN to PAULA). I know he’s been wanting to see
you.
PAULA: Oh hi there little guy. We certainly missed you too (she scans the
room). Where’s Sam?
JACKIE: Sam? Oh, she’s just... Uh she’s-
JOSH: Hiding! Because we are playing hide and seek.
JACKIE: Yes! We are playing hide and seek, and Josh and I are the seekers. And she isn’t here right now, because she’s the hider.
JOSH: Hey Sherlock, I think they got it.
MARK: So did everything go well? Or should I say, is it car worthy?
JACKIE: Oh it is definitely car wo-
(SAM sneezes)
PAULA: What was that?
JOSH: That was... me! (pretends to sneeze, mimicking to sound like SAM’s sneeze) Just some seasonal allergies.
MARK: That’s quite a girly sneeze you got.
JOSH: (pretending to be hurt) Am I not allowed to have a feminine sneeze, Father?
PAULA: It’s perfectly fine to have a girly sneeze. But when that sneeze sounds exactly like your six-year-old sister hiding behind Jackie’s back, that’s when it starts to raise suspicion.
(SAM walks out from behind JACKIE sheepishly.)
PAULA: Honey! (PAULA hands DEVIN to MARK) You are a complete mess! SAM: I got you these flowers Mama.
PAULA: Oh really? That’s funny (slightly harsh to JACKIE). They look exactly like the ones from my garden (pause, to JACKIE). I suppose you were the one who allowed all of this?
you.
PAULA: Oh hi there little guy. We certainly missed you too (she scans the
room). Where’s Sam?
JACKIE: Sam? Oh, she’s just... Uh she’s-
JOSH: Hiding! Because we are playing hide and seek.
JACKIE: Yes! We are playing hide and seek, and Josh and I are the seekers. And she isn’t here right now, because she’s the hider.
JOSH: Hey Sherlock, I think they got it.
MARK: So did everything go well? Or should I say, is it car worthy?
JACKIE: Oh it is definitely car wo-
(SAM sneezes)
PAULA: What was that?
JOSH: That was... me! (pretends to sneeze, mimicking to sound like SAM’s sneeze) Just some seasonal allergies.
MARK: That’s quite a girly sneeze you got.
JOSH: (pretending to be hurt) Am I not allowed to have a feminine sneeze, Father?
PAULA: It’s perfectly fine to have a girly sneeze. But when that sneeze sounds exactly like your six-year-old sister hiding behind Jackie’s back, that’s when it starts to raise suspicion.
(SAM walks out from behind JACKIE sheepishly.)
PAULA: Honey! (PAULA hands DEVIN to MARK) You are a complete mess! SAM: I got you these flowers Mama.
PAULA: Oh really? That’s funny (slightly harsh to JACKIE). They look exactly like the ones from my garden (pause, to JACKIE). I suppose you were the one who allowed all of this?
JACKIE: Mom, I’m so sorry. I was being completely irresponsible. I don’t deserve a
new car. And I understand if you don’t trust me to babysit again.
JOSH: Okay, that’s enough. Mom, Jackie may not be the best babysitter, or even an average one.
JACKIE: (whispers to JOSH) You’re not helping my case.
JOSH: (whispers back to JACKIE) Hush, child. (to PAULA) She may have made mistakes, but she owned up to them. Sure there may have been some... complications, but she was always ready to take action and fix things. Today she went from a regular teen only caring about herself, into a bright and determined adult. And if that’s not worthy of a new car, then I don’t know what is.
JACKIE: Aw, thanks Josh. You're always there to help me out. (she hugs him, JOSH stands there not embracing the hug).
JOSH: Yeah, don’t get used to it.
MARK: I’m sorry honey, but since we signed the contract and you didn’t take care of the
kids, I don’t think we can get you that new car.
JACKIE: That’s okay. As long as you forgive me.
MARK: We forgive you, sweetie. (MARK and JACKIE hug)
JOSH: (Grabs the contract from JACKIE’s pocket) Actually dad, if you take a look at the contract, it clearly states that all Jackie had to do to get the car was take care of the house. And from where I’m standing, the house isn’t harmed at all. So I believe that means, you owe Jackie one new car.
MARK: Well look at you being all lawyerly (smiles). I suppose since that’s what the contract says, we’ll have to go out and pick out a new car.
(JOSH and JACKIE embrace MARK in a hug)
PAULA: Well it seems you two have had quite the adventure today. Oh kids, I’m just so happy you got along. (SAM begins to exit up the stairs without PAULA or MARK seeing her.) It’s a rare sighting to see after all. The only time you two kids ever get along is Christmas and that’s because-
JACKIE: Uh, Mom? (She notices Sam and tries to point it out)
PAULA: -I make you two get along. Otherwise you don’t get my special Snickerdoodle cookies!
JOSH: Okay, that’s enough. Mom, Jackie may not be the best babysitter, or even an average one.
JACKIE: (whispers to JOSH) You’re not helping my case.
JOSH: (whispers back to JACKIE) Hush, child. (to PAULA) She may have made mistakes, but she owned up to them. Sure there may have been some... complications, but she was always ready to take action and fix things. Today she went from a regular teen only caring about herself, into a bright and determined adult. And if that’s not worthy of a new car, then I don’t know what is.
JACKIE: Aw, thanks Josh. You're always there to help me out. (she hugs him, JOSH stands there not embracing the hug).
JOSH: Yeah, don’t get used to it.
MARK: I’m sorry honey, but since we signed the contract and you didn’t take care of the
kids, I don’t think we can get you that new car.
JACKIE: That’s okay. As long as you forgive me.
MARK: We forgive you, sweetie. (MARK and JACKIE hug)
JOSH: (Grabs the contract from JACKIE’s pocket) Actually dad, if you take a look at the contract, it clearly states that all Jackie had to do to get the car was take care of the house. And from where I’m standing, the house isn’t harmed at all. So I believe that means, you owe Jackie one new car.
MARK: Well look at you being all lawyerly (smiles). I suppose since that’s what the contract says, we’ll have to go out and pick out a new car.
(JOSH and JACKIE embrace MARK in a hug)
PAULA: Well it seems you two have had quite the adventure today. Oh kids, I’m just so happy you got along. (SAM begins to exit up the stairs without PAULA or MARK seeing her.) It’s a rare sighting to see after all. The only time you two kids ever get along is Christmas and that’s because-
JACKIE: Uh, Mom? (She notices Sam and tries to point it out)
PAULA: -I make you two get along. Otherwise you don’t get my special Snickerdoodle cookies!
JOSH: Mom, you might wanna-
PAULA: And no one can resist Paula’s famous Snickerdoodle cookies. Am I right
Sam? (she turns to look at SAM, who has exited completely up the stairs.) Where’s Sam? JOSH: She left while you were talking.
JACKIE: We tried to tell you.
PAULA: Well where did she go?
JOSH: She went upstairs, but you’ll have one heck of a time trying to catch her.
JACKIE: Leave it to us. (she puts her hand on PAULA’s shoulder.) We have experience.
(JOSH and JACKIE grin at each other)
JOSH: I’ll grab the rope! (he runs to the window, opening it and grabbing the rope he threw out previously)
JACKIE: I’ll get the cloth! (she runs to the kitchen and enters again with the wet cloth) (JOSH and JACKIE race up the stairs and exit laughing. PAULA and MARK watch, then
look to each other. They both laugh, and look at DEVIN. The lights go down.)
THE END
PAULA: And no one can resist Paula’s famous Snickerdoodle cookies. Am I right
Sam? (she turns to look at SAM, who has exited completely up the stairs.) Where’s Sam? JOSH: She left while you were talking.
JACKIE: We tried to tell you.
PAULA: Well where did she go?
JOSH: She went upstairs, but you’ll have one heck of a time trying to catch her.
JACKIE: Leave it to us. (she puts her hand on PAULA’s shoulder.) We have experience.
(JOSH and JACKIE grin at each other)
JOSH: I’ll grab the rope! (he runs to the window, opening it and grabbing the rope he threw out previously)
JACKIE: I’ll get the cloth! (she runs to the kitchen and enters again with the wet cloth) (JOSH and JACKIE race up the stairs and exit laughing. PAULA and MARK watch, then
look to each other. They both laugh, and look at DEVIN. The lights go down.)
THE END
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